Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
