At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
