We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
