At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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