We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
