all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize