Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize