We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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