Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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