Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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