dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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