I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
