I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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