you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
