But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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