Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
