On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
