dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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