left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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