i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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