just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
