I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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