this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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