K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize