I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
