This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
