I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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