Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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