I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I understand Curling. That high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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