Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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