this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
