We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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