Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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