i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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