so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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