Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
