so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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