dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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