So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize