i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
