three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
