I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize