Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
