I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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