I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
