Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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