If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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