Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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