Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
