i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
