Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
