We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
vagina is talking i cant
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
