Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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