Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
