a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Acid is not a monday night drug
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
