I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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