this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you made out with another girl for some wings
my liver is dry heaving
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
