I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
my liver is dry heaving
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
