i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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