it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
