My first STD was from a foam party
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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