Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
